


Torpe

by pandacakes (jeggnog)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 06:16:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13335198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeggnog/pseuds/pandacakes
Summary: Jongin is only Kyungsoo's best friend, but he secretly wants to be someone more.Torpe - someone who finds difficulty courting the one they like.





	Torpe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sengen35](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sengen35/gifts).



> Hi! This is my first time participating a fic exchange and I'm worried I may not have made something up to my receiver's expectation. I hope I did well T_T You had really good prompts too! It was hard to pick. I'd like to thank the mods for being patient with me, and even helping me with this! I'm a pain in the ass to contact, but you persevered and I'm thankful *^* I'm sorry if there are any mistakes I missed correcting. I hope you enjoy reading!

Jongin checks his stuff one last time before zipping up his bag and cheerfully hiking it up his back. It’s his first day in high school and he can’t help but feel hyped up about the idea. His mother notices this as he politely asks for his share of breakfast with a huge grin on his face. She watches as Jongin takes his time giddily munching on his meal, the happy welts on his cheeks never vanishing despite the eager chewing motions.

“You seem… happy?” she asks, wonder clear in her tone. Jongin only playfully pokes his tongue out before swallowing the last of his food and running to the sink to brush his teeth quickly. On his way he pauses to check the time, and his eyes widen when he sees it’s a few minutes to 7. 

“Jongin! Your Kyungsoo-hyung is here!”

The brushing motions turn harsh as he speeds up and ends hastily. “Coming!” he answers while slipping on his socks, grunting when his knees hit the floor after tipping off-balance. When he reaches the door, where his favorite hyung stood, he trips.

“Why are you rushing?” said hyung asks. He stifles giggles while Jongin tries to tidy up his uniform. Jongin tucks in his button down again before struggling to put on his blazer. “Done,” Jongin presents himself to Kyungsoo with a proud smile on his face.

Kyungsoo fakes a squint and shakes his head, “Not quite.” Jongin’s frown is cut short when gentle fingers come up his cheek to rub off dry traces of toothpaste.

“Now you’re done. We’re leaving Mrs. Kim!” Kyungsoo leads their way out of the gates of Jongin’s residence while Jongin lags a little behind him, willing away the faint blush almost making its way up his face. His mother watches everything happen with a fond smile.

Together, they walk to school. Kyungsoo starts telling Jongin things about the place; rules, buildings, good spots, places to avoid, and even the nasty reheated canteen meals, but Jongin stays bubbly. He wasn’t a big geek for education or anything. He even took up after class dance sessions in middle school just to kill time rather than spending the rest of the day sticking his nose into books or recalling lessons. He didn’t hate school either. He was pretty neutral about it in middle school. But that was middle school, this is high school, and high school means sharing the same school campus with his fave neighborhood hyung and also best friend.

 

Do Kyungsoo was perfect- for Jongin, that is. When his shy 11-year old self just moved in the street, it was 12-year old Kyungsoo who approached him first. With his warm, round eyes and calming voice he offers Jongin a tray of baked spaghetti. The foreign food didn’t attract Jongin at first. But the smell- it was too divine to ignore. So, they shared it while talking about the most random things. The less the food on the tray becomes, the more they acquaint. By the end of the afternoon, they exchange social media profiles and chat every day. It becomes routine, and each other’s names become familiar in their respective homes. Jongin has no clue how Kyungsoo sees him, but he is pretty sure Kyungsoo isn’t just another friend to him.

“We’re here,” Kyungsoo points to the big gates of his future school. Jongin chuckles amusedly at how Kyungsoo cutely open his arms and wiggles his fingers, presenting the place. Kyungsoo is a year higher than him, and started entering this school a year back. Jongin begged his mother to enter the same institution, and she was pretty easy to convince when she found out Kyungsoo went there too. That was the reason why Jongin was excited to enter school in the first place. Now he can see his hyung in school hours, and the idea itself makes him feel elated. No more spending the day only imagining how his hyung’s eyes arc to pretty crescents when he texts a joke, or hearing his laughter disrupted by crappy internet signals. Unlike before, he has a legitimate reason to hang out with Kyungsoo more on non-weekends this time. 

Jongin walks mindlessly while watching Kyungsoo talk about something- he’s not sure what, he only focuses on how his lips jut as he talks. He’s in a daze that he fails to decipher the question Kyungsoo sends him. “Yah, Jongin.”

“Hyung?” Jongin chirps, the sound of his name leaving Kyungsoo’s lips make his heart flutter. 

“I asked you which room you stay…“ Kyungsoo eventually stops walking when he doesn’t hear a response again. When he faces Jongin, he could only sigh. “Hey, you’re smiling like an idiot again. Are you really that excited for class?” 

“What was that?”

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Kyungsoo!”

Their bickering(rather Kyungsoo’s) ends when what appears like a huge man runs close to them. If it wasn’t for the disheveled uniform and creepy smile, Jongin would’ve easily mistook him as a teacher. How is this thing friends with a smol bean like Kyungsoo?

“Chanyeol!” Kyungsoo greets enthusiastically. Jongin watches as said Chanyeol pulls his best friend into a hug so tight he lifts Kyungsoo off the ground. “I didn’t see you all summer. Where’s Baekhyun?” 

Jongin stands awkwardly in the side while the two converses about their break. Jongin holds himself back from pumping out his chest haughtily when he hears Kyungsoo share to this Chanyeol guy how a close dongsaeng of his patiently taught him how to swim. Now, Kyungsoo almost gets all swimming strokes right. Jongin also holds himself back from reacting unnaturally to how Chanyeol carelessly slaps Kyungsoo’s arm when he laughs or gets too close. Now that he thinks about it, Kyungsoo did mention Chanyeol to him some time ago. 

It is almost 10 minutes later when Kyungsoo finally realizes he left a poor 16-year old standing in the sidelines.

“Oh right!” Jongin almost perks up like a proud puppy when Kyungsoo recognized him. Kyungsoo pushes Jongin forward with a palm on the small of Jongin’s back. Jongin stumbles a little. “Chanyeol, this is Jongin. I think I mentioned him a few times?” Jongin bows, being the polite younger student he is.

“I knew it. I am certain he is this swimmer you just mentioned, his body screams athletic.” Jongin thanks Chanyeol shyly. 

Before he could even ask Kyungsoo about his first class- which is in 30 minutes- another man a tad taller than Kyungsoo comes in and they start talking once again. Jongin could only sigh. The only good thing he got out of this waiting is when he sees Chanyeol peck Baekhyun shortly on the cheek. Chanyeol wasn’t competition, that’s for certain. 

 

All fantasies of sharing lunch, studying together, or hanging out in breaks vanishes before the day even ends and Jongin is beyond bummed. They shared the same lunch hours and their rooms were only 2 floors away from each other, but Kyungsoo was always with his friend group and he was too shy to butt in and steal him from them. He wasn’t THAT desperate- although he did consider… 

He texted his hyung during break hours, but Kyungsoo was either somewhere he couldn’t find or somewhere he doesn’t recognize. He really should’ve studied that school map they gave away during the orientation. A soft ping is heard, and the notification light on his phone blinks. He unlocks his phone to see that Kyungsoo has replied to his text. He’s happy to know Kyungsoo is quick to reply, it somehow assures him they still get to talk to each other all the time like this. 

 

To his delight, Kyungsoo waits for him by the gates to invite him to walk home together. That idea makes him feel a lot better at least. “How was your first day?” Kyungsoo asks him before they cross the street. Jongin swiftly puts an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders to stop him from stepping off the pavement when he sees a bicycle come their way. He lets the arm sit on Kyungsoo relaxedly while waiting for the cyclist to pass. When the road is clear, he casually pushes Kyungsoo forward, prompting him to start walking. They get to the other side together before he drops his arm back to his side. 

Jongin tries to think of good things that happened to him that day- things that didn’t involve Kyungsoo, those are always good things- but nothing comes up. He pouts when he realizes the only answer he could muster is that he befriended a stoic kid from his class. It was inevitable because they ended up sitting together when their homeroom adviser arranged their seating, but it was the only interesting thing he could share to Kyungsoo so he tells him anyway. 

“Oh Sehun is his name,” Jongin ends. Kyungsoo nods in understanding. Jongin thought Kyungsoo’s neck looked a little red, but he didn’t bother pointing it out. “Ah, the teachers also gave out lists of their requirements, like notebooks and such. I have to find time to buy them. I almost forgot”

“Let’s buy them together,” Kyungsoo proposes and Jongin immediately agrees. “We have breaks on Wednesdays, right? How about that time?”

“Cool. I don’t think the dance club Wednesday sessions start this week anyway, they are still busy gathering recruits.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes light up when he hears that and remembers when an excited Jongin called him hours prior to share that he was casted for the dance troupe. “Yep, the singing club’s activities don’t start until next, next week so we still have much time. I’ll text you, okay?” 

Jongin nods in response as they stop in front of Kyungsoo’s house. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” Jongin asks with a warry tone. He wasn’t sure if them heading to school together was a one-time thing or a routine waiting to happen. 

“Of course”

 

The next morning Jongin wakes up, prepares, and heads out extra early. When Kyungsoo gets out of his door to supposedly head to Jongin’s place, he sees him standing outside their gate, holding onto the straps of his bag diligently. 

“Good morning Mrs. Do!” Jongin waves at the woman peeking from the door. She was easily one of his favorite people. 

He sees her squint her eyes before a look of recognition brands her face and she returns the wave hello. “Good morning Jongin dear, you ready for school?”

“Yes, Mrs. Do.”

“Good for you, Kyungsoo here almost forgot his lunchbox”

Kyungsoo ducks his head shyly when he hears Jongin chuckle from meters away. “You didn’t have to tell him that, Mom.” He glares at his mother jokingly before walking to the gates. He hears his mother laugh before he gets to Jongin’s side.

“Let’s go”

Jongin makes it habit to be the one to pick Kyungsoo up, and Kyungsoo didn’t mind it one bit. Just another one of Jongin’s fantasies coming true.

 

.

 

The next days, unfortunately, turn out like the first. Kyungsoo meets up with his friends and Jongin is left walking to class alone, they text all day, they don’t meet in breaks, then they talk as they walk home. 

He figures he might as well get used to this.

Jongin ends up hanging out with Sehun more often. Sehun was like him in a way. They were both quiet and reserved so they didn’t have any problem adjusting. They also share similar sense of humor, so Jongin could mock Sehun’s handwriting without worrying of offending him. He managed to force Sehun to join the dance troupe too so he won’t look like a lonely rookie boy during their first day in. 

Currently, they are walking towards 4th period class. Some classes end together, which means they are attempting to make their way through a river of people squirming down the narrow corridor. Jongin tucks his arms close to his chest. With people walking almost shoulder to shoulder, he’d be careful not to cause a ruckus. A stray touch and it could be easily misinterpreted.

 

“I’ll just try and ask Kyungsoo-oppa about it” his hearing zeroes on the girls murmuring a few ways ahead. Maybe they’re talking about another Kyungsoo?

“He’s in the cafeteria for lunch. He’s pretty easy to find”

“He’s pretty too” 

The last statement makes Jongin quirk his eyebrows and Kyungsoo-alarm go berserk. Pretty? They are definitely talking about his Kyungsoo.

He eyes the giggling girls beadily before they turn around the next corner and completely out of his sight. Even then, his body was still twisted unnaturally and Sehun was perturbed. That wasn’t the first time the alarm went off this month and it’s only the second week of classes.

“Jongin, the bell just rang”

Jongin lets it pass for now. It must be a coincidence.

 

Except it wasn’t. It didn’t take a genius to figure Kyungsoo was on the list of the most recognized people on campus. He wasn’t in the same category with the jocks or the nerds whose names were everywhere on campus. He was the kind of student others remember for doing something remarkable, albeit Jongin didn’t know what. Kind of like that high school senior you remember for being sent to another country for an exchange program, or winning some interschool contest. He was famous enough that others didn’t mind mentioning his name out of the blue and be warry. It also doesn’t help that this Byun Baekhyun he always hung out with was part of the student council and was friends with everyone. Add to that Kyungsoo’s angelic appearance- Jongin thinks this reason kept him on the popular list. 

“You know, staring won’t do anything.” Sehun pokes Jongin smugly on the shoulder as he continues to glare at the 2 guys standing by the peach tree. He’s pretty sure he heard one of them mention Kyungsoo moments ago. 

Jongin exhales in defeat. He stabs the boiled baby carrot with his chopsticks before shoving it in his mouth and mumbling, “I hope it does.”

Sehun only shrugs, already aware of his new friend’s feelings for the older student. Jongin was too passionate sometimes. 

And Jongin is yet to get used to all the attention on Kyungsoo.

 

.

 

Kyungsoo blows on his fingers to try and warm them up. Jongin is late. They’re supposed to meet up 12 minutes ago. It’s freezing in the park where Kyungsoo stood, but he was willing to wait. He promised the younger they’d go out sometime, and this plan was a month in the waiting. They were busy with their respective classes, they only found time now. He adjusts the scarf around his neck again. He hopes Jongin hurries.

“Hyung, I’m sorry for making you wait. Here,” Jongin apologizes. To Kyungsoo’s surprise he removes his trench coat and drapes it around Kyungsoo’s body. Jongin meticulously tucks Kyungsoo inside the coat, while the elder stands still like an obedient child. This isn’t the first time Jongin did this.

“I’m fine, Jongin. How about you?” It’s the middle of autumn, but it was chilly enough. Kyungsoo’s pale fingertips are enough proof, and Jongin flinches when the back of his hand makes slight contact with said surface. Kyungsoo’s hands are freezing.

Jongin snorts before removing his gloves too and holding Kyungsoo’s hands to put them on. “Did you forget? I’m a human heater, I don’t feel cold easily. But you do. I brought these for you anyway. You always forget your winter clothing.” Kyungsoo could only nod in agreement, because the coat he’s in feels(and smells) too cozy to let go.

 

They spent the next hour walking around the plaza. Currently, they are holding hot chocolate in their hands and are trying to finish them so they can start entering boutiques. They originally weren’t up to shopping, but “SALE” placards are starting to pop up from shops’ glass displays. The bright white letters on red plastic were very appealing. When they start entering shops, they take turns fitting clothes and give the other opinions. Kyungsoo argues that Jongin looks good in anything, and Jongin doesn’t bother denying it. Kyungsoo says it all the time. Kyungsoo on the other hand, needs a lot of convincing.

“No hyung, brown looks reeaally good on you, trust me” Jongin persuades, stopping Kyungsoo from returning the padded sweater on the rack. 

“Are you serious? You’re not bluffing?” Kyungsoo looks up at him with his large eyes while his small hands clutch the clothes’ hanger and Jongin’s heart skips a beat at the view. Jongin loves their height difference.

“O-of course!” Except Kyungsoo mistakes his stutter for hesitation.

Kyungsoo thumps his foot and harrumphs. He harshly thrusts the sweater back into the rack and stomps away from Jongin.

“Hyung?” Jongin quickly gets the sweater before someone else manages to find it. “Why’d you return it?”

“You stuttered.” 

Jongin knows it is a bad time to laugh, but he does because he really can’t help it. Kyungsoo was sulking and he’s really adorable when he does.

 

They leave the store with 2 bags more than they entered, one of them contained that brown padded sweater. 

 

.

 

“So, you went shopping with Kyungsoo yesterday?”

Jongin is taken aback at what Sehun asks him first thing in the morning. “Good morning to you, too. And yeah, we did,” he answers while trying to recall if he mentioned going out with Kyungsoo to Sehun. “I don’t think I told you about that.”

Sehun nonchalantly finishes arranging his things before tending to Jongin again, “You didn’t. I heard from the guys planning to give him Pepero”

“Planning what?!” All eyes in the room were now on Jongin, who stood up so fast he bumps into the desk, his chair screeches backwards, and Sehun’s things fall off the table. 

Sehun sighs. He quietly picks up his fallen things and arranges them on their desk again. He is probably the only one in the room uncaring of the seething guy hovering over him. 

He takes his time, getting the spilled pens from his pencil case. If you listen close enough you can hear the ticking of Jongin’s patience closing in on zero. 

Jongin tries to be more civil this time and hiss the words out instead. “Uhm?! Sehun?!” Jongin was antsy, “Details?!” 

“Jeez, calm down.” Sehun dusts off his sleeve as if anything even happened to them and it peeves Jongin. “They’ve probably given it anyway. Last time I checked they were planning to meet him outside the theatre room. That was before I got here.” When he gets up from crouching down the floor, Jongin was nowhere in sight, and the rest of the people in the room were left surprised. Who knew Jongin could speak that loudly? He’s always been the quiet kid. From where they sat, they could hear Jongin’s loud footsteps echoing down the corridor.

 

Jongin does his best to stay undercover. Like an idiot, he got lost looking for said theater room. He almost blows his cover when he finally finds the culprits and his damsel not in distress. 

He can see them now. The two guys holding Pepero boxes in their backs and speaking with Kyungsoo in hushed voices. He couldn’t hear them from where he hid. The two were fiddling their fingers, and to Jongin they looked pathetic. Kyungsoo wasn’t fond of biscuit sticks because he once complained their chocolate get stuck on his teeth. He was 14 that time. Did his suitors know that? NO. Only Jongin knew that. 

He can’t believe he forgot today was Pepero day. He flinches when he hears Kyungsoo laugh. Some stranger just made Kyungsoo laugh. This is unacceptable.

 _What to do… what to do…_

Jongin starts biting his fingernails. Any second now and they’ll give it to Kyungsoo. 

“Jongin…” someone whispers from behind him. When he turns around, he is met by a fist to his stomach. 

He blanches as he stumbles out of his hiding spot. He doubles over in pain and couldn’t stop the grunts out of his throat. He manages to open one eye to see Sehun mouth ‘You’re welcome’ before running away. That bastard.

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo only lets himself be confused for half a second before he starts coming over to tend to his best friend. “What happened?!”

As much as Jongin liked being caressed by Kyungsoo, this was really embarrassing. Too pained to speak he only groans in response. Kyungsoo holds Jongin’s head on his shoulder and tries to get him up.

“Let me take you to the infirmary. Careful now.”

Well, at least Kyungsoo didn’t get to accept the Pepero.

 

.

 

It’s a little over the middle of autumn. Jongin’s toes unintentionally poke the side of Kyungsoo’s thigh with how long his feet stretched across the sofa. He continues to tap his phone furiously, desperate not to lose the game, but then he taps half a second too late, and the device vibrates a game over. He decides he’s too tired to attempt to win the level once more, so he puts the phone aside. Left with nothing to do, his eyes wander to the marvel on the other side of the couch.

As the weather is getting colder, Kyungsoo is stuffed inside a pullover one size bigger. Instead of a smartphone screen, his fingers dance across the keys of his laptop. Jongin remembers him mentioning a paper due in 2 days. For a moment he feels guilty for inviting his hyung to come over, but then he realizes just staring at Kyungsoo working like this is enough, his presence truly is. 

“You hungry?” His daze is interrupted by an inquiry from the object of his affection. Kyungsoo is now looking at him while flashing a tender smile. Jongin loves how effortlessly charming Kyungsoo is.

“Not really, but if you are, I think we have some left-over pizza.” Jongin is quick to get up. “Mom didn’t feel like cooking last night, so we had pizza delivered.” Before Jongin is manages to walk 2 steps, hands grab his wrist, and he turns to see Kyungsoo looking up at him from the couch. The angle makes him look smaller than he already is and Jongin struggles to hold in a smile because it’s really difficult not to smother Kyungsoo with kisses when he looks like this. 

“You don’t need to. I just asked because you were staring at me for too long I thought you needed something.”

“Oh… I just--” Jongin struggles to find an excuse. He can’t just tell Kyungsoo that staring at his face is enough of a past time. Kyungsoo might never let that happen again, and God knows how many hours a day he spends observing Kyungsoo solely.

“But I don’t mind having pizza”

Jongin is thankful Kyungsoo’s response stopped him from gaping longer than he already was. 

 

Minutes later, Kyungsoo is pulling at the melted cheese of the pizza with his front teeth, and Jongin laughs amusedly. 

“Just cut it, hyung, you look ridiculous.” Jongin points out. Which wasn’t completely a lie. Kyungsoo’s arm was already stretched the furthest it could and the cheese still clung stubbornly. Kyungsoo mumbles something, something Jongin didn’t bother understanding. Instead he scoots close to cut the cheese with his own teeth and turns to Kyungsoo to eat the rest of the string dangling off his mouth.

The intimacy of the situation doesn’t dawn to him until he’s the next time he looks up he’s already a few nudges away from Kyungsoo’s face. The older’s eyes were open in an unhindered shock. Jongin’s gaze wanders down to Kyungsoo’s stuffed cheeks. The endearing sight prompts him to cut the string of dairy and move away. He laughs as he remembers, “Aahhh, hyung. You always bite more than you can chew. You look like a squirrel” He did his best to make the comment sound casual because best friends aren’t supposed to feel so flustered around each other, and Jongin knows his place.

 

The lingering silence after that was more comfortable than expected. They finish their own servings just as Kyungsoo finishes his term paper. And finally, finally, they can start doing what Kyungsoo originally went at Jongin’s place for.

“So, what do you feel like watching today?” Kyungsoo asks as he shuffles through his hard drive. The ones in Jongin’s weren’t updated, plus, they have both agreed Kyungsoo’s movie preferences are mostly better.

Jongin leans his chin on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, eyes overlooking the laptop Kyungsoo had perched on his thigh. Jongin unconsciously sighs comfortably. “How about…” 

Jongin’s voice fades as Kyungsoo continues to scroll down, having paused when Jongin perched on him by surprise, a miniscule action he hoped Jongin missed.

“Kingsman”  
“…Kingsman”

They gasp in surprise as they realize they just uttered the same movie title together, before laughing. Because wow, even the movie they feel like watching is in sync. 

 

In the middle of the movie, Kyungsoo’s phone start vibrating non-stop. While Kyungsoo opted to ignore it, Jongin slyly peeks at the device to see whoever is interrupting their movie time. The unfamiliar name (a guy’s name at that) piques Jongin’s interest(read: sets off his Kyungsoo alarm).

 _Who is Lim Hyunsik?_

Jongin didn’t realize he said the question out loud. “What? Yah! You don’t just snoop around someone else’s phone” Kyungsoo reprimands before snatching the phone from Jongin’s side of the couch. Jongin was affronted, when did they ever start having privacy issues between them. He pushes the doubt down his stomach as he attempts to lighten the situation.

 

“Hyung, I thought I’m your best friend. What is this secrecy”

“Of course, you are”

“Then who is he? You’re not answering me”

A period of silence passes. Kyungsoo busily types on his phone- while turning away from Jongin, just to be sure- as Jongin sat waiting behind him. He completely misses the question being asked to him, and Jongin releases a deep sigh. This Hyunsik guy was hogging Kyungsoo’s attention.

“Hyung,” Jongin tries once again. But his hyung is still nonchalant. He tries to lean his head on the gap between Kyungsoo’s shoulder blades, but to no avail.

“Hyuuuuuung”

“What?” Kyungsoo snarks. Ang Jongin pulls away quickly, surprised at the hostile tone.

“Who is he?”

Another period of silence passes again, and Jongin was already slumping on the backrest of the couch. That is until he hears Kyungsoo stifle giggles from beside him. And the sound never irked him until now.

Are they sending each other jokes? 

“Hyuuuuuuuu--”

“He’s my partner” Kyungsoo finally replies with a curt tone Jongin isn’t used to.

“You’re dating someone?”

Kyungsoo eyes him like he’s the silliest thing on earth. Jongin would accept that look any day just to hear a- “NO!” Perfect. “I mean my partner for the term paper I was writing right earlier. Why are you even asking such questions? Of course I’m not dating anybody”

“But-“

“Ssshhh,” Jongin didn’t realize he was pouting like a child until Kyungsoo presses his finger onto his lips to shut him up. “Trust me, if there’s anyone who first finds out if I’m dating, it’s you”

They continue to watch the movie in peace now. They had to rewatch the parts they missed, but all is good. Kyungsoo busily munches on the popcorn Jongin prepared earlier while Jongin continues to think about how Kyungsoo was keeping some stuff from him. It doesn’t sit well with him. He tells Kyungsoo everything. Rather, everything but his crush on him. So why didn’t Kyungsoo do the same. What else does he not know?

“So hyung, that guy who texted. Is he your type?“ Jongin intended to ask that bluffingly, as in enough to get Kyungsoo’s attention. But then Kyungsoo hums and appears deep in thought, before he sits up and looks at Jongin with the most casual expression.

“Kind of. He’s built and athletic. Oh! His jokes are funny too. But then I saw his bag once, and damn, it was sooo messy and unorganized.” Jongin would’ve taken time to coo at the cute scowl on Kyungsoo’s face if his jaws never dropped so fast his whole life at what he just heard. 

“Y-you like him?!” He also doesn’t think he’s sat up that fast before. “As in you’d date him kind of like?”

“If he fixes that bag maybe I’ll consider” 

 

Jongin is having a mental breakdown, but holds it in the best that he could because damn it, Jongin you’ve started striking the ice, you have to finish your business before you lose the chance. He conjures the most teasing tone he has(at least the most teasing he could with how mentally impaired he is right now), and bumps Kyungsoo’s shoulder annoyingly.  
“Aweee hyung has a crush.” Even Jongin internally cringed at how fake his teasing sounded. He hopes Kyungsoo doesn’t notice. “I never knew you had an ideal type. What is your ideal type, anyway?”

Kyungsoo fakes gagging sounds at the notion of having a crush at Hyunsik. “I am not crushing on Hyunsik. He’s likable, but I don’t have a crush on him.” Kyungsoo lightly hit’s Jongin’s head in retort. “I thought your question on dating him was hypothetical. Plus, I don’t have an ideal type. I like someone when I like someone. Some standard is unneeded.”

“So, do you like someone right now?” Jongin asks straightforward, Kyungsoo could be stubborn when he wants to be. His vague answers are also too stressful to interpret.

“The questions are starting to annoy me, Jongin”

“But hyuuung answer that one last. Do you like someone right now?”

Kyungsoo stares at him with an undecipherable gaze, before settling it at the moving frames of the television and answering the heaviest “Yes, Jongin. There is someone I really like”

Jongin feels like he’s been stabbed a thousand times.

 

A week easily passes by, and the knowledge still manages to haunt Jongin every time. Without realizing it, he gets used to the weight down the depths of his guts whenever he remembers. 

So the next time he sees Kyungsoo walk down around the school lawn with Hyunsik, he swallows deeply and tries to gain courage. Also, maybe he should consider buying a snapback similar to what Hyunsik was wearing. Maybe that way Kyungsoo will notice him more. 

 

.

 

Jongin was supposed to be on his way home with Kyungsoo by now, but just minutes before their usual meeting, Kyungsoo texts him that he’s going out with Chanyeol for karaoke. Going out. So now he’s standing near the bus stop, bouncing on the balls of his feet with a sour look on his face. Chanyeol is supposed to be dating Baekhyun, why are they going out?

“Jongin…?”

Jongin turns to see Kyungsoo standing with- expectedly- Chanyeol, who was now smiling like he isn’t ruining what’s left of Jongin’s day. 

“Hyung! Are you leaving already?”

“Yes.” Just as Kyungsoo answers the bus stops in front of them, its doors doing a little hiss before sliding open, prompting Chanyeol and Kyungsoo to get in. Chanyeol goes ahead, thinking Jongin will need something for Kyungsoo first, and reminds Kyungsoo to hurry.

“Hyung.” Jongin whispers urgently. “You can’t go.”

“What?”

“I need you to…” Jongin’s eyes wander around to look for some excuse, and his eyes land on the literature book Kyungsoo held in his hand. Jongin holds Kyungsoo’s wrist and pulls him away from the bus a little. Kyungsoo stumbles in surprise. “Tutor me with Literature. We have a test tomorrow!”

Kyungsoo looks at him in wonder, the cute eyebrows scrunching in confusion, and if his world was a movie, he’s sure there’d be question marks floating around. But then Kyungsoo breaks out in a laughter, and it’s Jongin’s turn to be puzzled.

“Jongin, you don’t even have Literature yet, don’t be silly”

Jongin is positive he could hear Chanyeol laugh at him from where he’s sitting inside the bus, and inner Jongin is inching in on himself. 

 

“Are you getting in or not?” The bus driver is already scowling at them and Kyungsoo didn’t want to get on his bad side. So he hurriedly grabs Jongin’s wrist, and drags him in the bus. 

 

Minutes later he finds himself sitting awkwardly in the lobby of a Karaoke place with none other than Park Chanyeol. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun were booking a room and buying them food because they were supposedly celebrating Chanyeol’s birthday today, and Jongin feels even more like an idiot at the knowledge.

“Chanyeol-sunbaenim, I’m really sorry for intruding. I didn’t know you were celebrating your birthday.” Chanyeol shrugs at his apology. Jongin knew he had a really lax personality, but he really felt the need to apologize. He almost ruined their celebration over a tutor session, for a subject he didn’t even have yet at that. Absurd.

“It’s fine, Jongin. The more the merrier, right? And call me hyung, I don’t mind.”

They go into another awkward silence, and Jongin was crying inside. The more he thought about what he just did, the more he wants to lock himself in a cave and never get out until new years.

“Also, just in case you didn’t know,” Chanyeol talks out of nowhere and Jongin bounces in his seat in surprise. Chanyeol laughs at him for a second, before continuing, “Baek and I are dating, so there’s nothing to be jealous about. Kyungsoo and I are just friends”

Jongin doesn’t even hold his sigh of relief. “Good… I-I mean-!”

“HAH! I knew it.”

Jongin groans and plops his face in his hands. He just singlehandedly made the situation worse. Perfect, now the person next closest to Kyungsoo knows of his pathetic crush. Just great.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Jongin’s voice is muffled in his hand, but Chanyeol manages to understand clearly. “Sure, bud. I can keep secrets.” 

With the cat out of the bag, Jongin feels weirdly at ease with Chanyeol now. So he attempts at conversations with him, and the older goes with the flow well. Jongin figured if they didn’t start off with the wrong foot they would’ve gotten along really well. 

“Chanyeol-hyung, do you happen to know who Kyungsoo likes?” Instead of a confused expression like Jongin expected, Chanyeol wears a somewhat creepy smile. Jongin felt the need to move away from the array of big white teeth. 

“Maybe…?”

Jongin was about to eagerly ask who, but then the subject arrives, and they drop the topic completely, leaving Jongin hanging. It is clear that Chanyeol knows. With Kyungsoo telling Chanyeol, but not him, Jongin is a little unsure with what his role is on Kyungsoo’s life anymore.

 

.

 

Time passes quickly when you’re busy. Albeit Jongin was still adjusting as it is his first year in high school, it isn’t the pressure of accumulating good points for college troubling him for the past few months.

Tonight, he carefully draws along the edge of the ruler with his sharpened pencil. After Kyungsoo missed his call three times, he stops trying and just opts to finish his drafting class assignment. Maybe Kyungsoo really was as busy as he told him this morning. Some group project again, maybe. 

Back when he was in middle school, he understood these reasons. Especially this time of the year, it was especially hectic. But now he’s got a gist of high school, and what he recalled Kyungsoo once told him was tiring, took him one afternoon in the library, and what Kyungsoo once described as time-consuming, took him 3 nights of study. Jongin wasn’t especially smart, but he knows Kyungsoo is a genius. All those medals, trophies, and certificates in their display cabinet was enough proof. Kyungsoo’s mother proudly shows them to him every time he visits. What Jongin spent 3 days on, will probably take Kyungsoo only 3 hours to finish.

So was his hyung really been avoiding him all these times he claims he’s been busy with school work? Funny, because that’s almost synonymous to Kyungsoo driving him away, just like what Kyungsoo did when he visited him in his classroom once. “Classes are about to start, Jongin. Hurry back to your room now.” They had 30 minutes till lunch break ended. Jongin stayed only 2 floors away.

He sighs again. Jongin continues to sulk as he finishes his assignment, and he remained undisturbed until in the middle of him finishing erasing the guide lines, his phone starts ringing. Jongin is almost thankful for the distraction, until he it dawns to him that the cause of his troubled mind may be the one on the other line. And he hesitates answering.  
His hand hovers over the device. Just as he was about to pick it up, it stops ringing. Jongin is not sure how to feel about his obvious relief. He always had time for Kyungsoo before, now, he’s yet to think about it. He’s settled back on his desk chair when his phone starts ringing again. The idea of leaving it to stop passes his mind again, but the thought of Kyungsoo being disappointed for him not answering drives him to stand up quick to get to his phone. He never wants to be the reason for Kyungsoo to be upset.

To his surprise, the one who’s been trying to talk to him wasn’t Kyungsoo. 

_“Yo”_

Jongin shamelessly roles his eyes at the dull greeting. Sehun doesn’t even attempt to sound better.

“What is it?” Jongin drags his feet to his bed before flopping unceremoniously. He’s suddenly lost the will to finish school work.

 _“You were supposed to ‘Yo’ back, but whatever. My troubled-friend receptors are tingling.”_

Jongin doesn’t bothering how Sehun does it, anymore. His timing is always uncanny, in a good way this time. Jongin didn’t realize he needed someone to talk to about it until Sehun offered.

He ends up verbalizing the sulking he’s been doing the past 3 hours. Sehun has been humming from time to time, giving him the idea that Sehun actually bothered listening and caring to his whining. But takes that back as all he gets by the end of his long rant is, the crunching of Sehun’s hard breath against his phone speakers.

“I’m going to need more than a scoff, Sehun.” The situation just made him more irritated.

 

 _“You’re being immature”_

Jongin refuses to answer to that statement until Sehun justifies. Because to him, feeling bad about the possibility of being lied to is not immature, it’s a natural response.

 _”You’re acting like Kyungsoo is the only significant friend you’ve ever had. Stuff like those happen, Jongin, friends can hide things from each other.”_

 

“Jongin?” He gets up to head to his door, it was his mom calling.

“Let’s talk about this some other time, my mom wants me.” Jongin doesn’t bother waiting for what Sehun has to say ang drops the call. Jongin will not admit it, but Sehun was right.

 

When he gets to the living room he sees his mother putting on her walking sandals and coat. “I’m going to the grocery, what snacks do you want me to get?”

Jongin smiles a little because the reason his mom asks this whenever she goes to buy is because she wants Kyungsoo and him to have enough too eat for their weekend movie. 

With a heavy heart, Jongin shakes his head and tells her there is no need. He tells her Kyungsoo probably wasn’t coming over this weekend, just like last week.

 

That weekend, Jongin wakes up to a rapping on his door by none other than Oh Sehun. 

“How did you even get in,” Jongin groans while he rubs his eyes, 9am was too early to wake up for the weekend.

“Your mom let me in. She didn’t know me so I introduced myself as your best friend” Jongin scoffs at the title. “Oh, she also left for work a few minutes earlier. She told me to relay to you that she is coming home with your father tonight, so you don’t have to pick her up at the bus stop.”

All Jongin could register was Oh Sehun self-proclaiming the best friend title, “You think too highly of yourself.”

Sehun drags him to their entertainment set before he gets any thoughts of returning to bed and shoves a plastic bag of full of pint-sized tubs of ice cream. “I didn’t know what flavor you wanted, so instead I researched the most comforting ice cream flavor for unreasonably, broken-hearted idiots and got everything on the list.”

Jongin mindlessly grabs the first thing he manages to get a hold of. He doesn’t even bother rebutting. Again, Sehun was right, “Why are you suddenly so generous?”

Sehun shrugs and leaves him to set up a movie. Every day is a Star Wars day. “This is me hinting you to stop calling me every night only to sulk about your inexistent love life.” 

Jongin throws a spoon at Sehun’s head, and Sehun thought he may have deserved that. 

“You’re not the only one that calls me, and you’re not exactly the top of my priority list,” Sehun adds, before he succumbs to the comfort of Jongin’s couch.  
Sehun’s way of comforting friends was incredibly odd and unusual, but effective.

 

.

 

“Kyungsoo-hyung?” the confused look Jongin is sporting makes Kyungsoo chuckle. Kyungsoo waves a small “Hey” at the younger, but Jongin still continues to look at him like he grew another nose.

Jongin and his parents were having dinner when the door rings. When Jongin volunteered to open the door, he didn’t expect to see Kyungsoo standing in their entrance. “Hyung, do you need something?” Jongin goes out of their door completely this time.

Kyungsoo shakes his head no. And Jongin still doesn’t understand what is going on. “But I was hoping that…we hang out.” Kyungsoo looked hopeful.

The request was simple, but strange. To hang out at a time like this didn’t sound like a good idea, the weather is only getting colder and colder. Not to mention the fact they haven’t seen each other in days. It’s their winter vacation already, and before, Jongin would make an effort of going to Kyungsoo’s place during the day to ask him out.  
But now the last time they talked was a few days back, it was Kyungsoo asking if Jongin wanted any of the cookies he baked, and Jongin had declined. It was a talk done over the phone. It annoyed Jongin how awkward it went. He never had to talk to Kyungsoo that uncomfortably before. And Kyungsoo should already know Jongin would never say no to his cookies. Without them walking to and from school to make up for missing each other’s presence, tension was starting to build without them noticing.

“Hyung,” Jongin feels like there’s more to Kyungsoo’s request, but for some reason, he didn’t feel the need to pry further. “I think it’s getting too cold to hangout today, maybe tomorrow?” The dejected look on Kyungsoo’s face causes a small tug in his chest, and he immediately regrets declining.

“Oh, yes, of course. What was I thinking. Well… see you tomorrow, then.” Seeing Kyungsoo walk away with nothing makes him feel horrible. Kyungsoo got nothing for coming over. And it’s the first time in a while it’s Kyungsoo who actually asked to hang out, but he rejects him.

“Hyung!”

Jongin catches up to Kyungsoo before he could reach the gate. The wet snow squelch disgustingly against his socks, and they’re probably soaked by now. He grabs Kyungsoo’s forearm before it could reach the latch. It’s when Kyungsoo finally turns to him that he realizes he didn’t think of what to say.

 

“Jongin? Kyungsoo is that you? What are you two doing out in the snow?” Jongin’s mother calls from their door, and Jongin has never felt so thankful for being scolded.

 

They end up getting inside together while Jongin’s father prepares hot beverages for them. Mrs. Kim reprimands them both for being careless of their health, and Kyungsoo bows repeatedly in apology. 

Afterwards, she tells them to go to Jongin’s room to change. And here they are, warm in their new clothes, fidgeting in their seats on Jongin’s bed. Jongin amuses himself with the patterns of his sheet for a while, not knowing how to start talking to Kyungsoo. It feels odd. They never had issues initiating conversations. Later, Jongin’s mother knocks and she brings in a tray with hot soup and some fun snacks. Jongin remembers he didn’t finish his meal earlier, so he gets up and aids his mother in setting up the low table by the open space beside his bed. Together they eat in loud silence.

“So hyung, about hanging out, we can do it here instead.” Jongin asks after they finish their meal and put the plates away. Kyungsoo positively lights up at the proposition. “Do you want to play cards?” 

“Yes, we can do that.”

They spend the next hour or so playing Speed, none of either minding that it’s one of the most childish card games there is. Their hands flurry between them causing them to slap the other’s sometimes, but it’s all fun. Jongin’s mother had to knock their door once, because they were laughing too loud. Slowly, the tension between them dissipates, and Jongin’s heart feels at most ease it has for the past few days. 

They stop once they realize Kyungsoo has won too many times in a row. While they put the cards away Jongin realizes why, Kyungsoo has been hiding a card under his thigh, and only pulls it out when Jongin isn’t paying enough attention. Jongin calls Kyungsoo out for it, and they end up muffling their giggles as they have a tickle competition. They stop when Jongin’s had Kyungsoo pinned to the floor and his hyung begs for him to stop.

Although in a compromising position, they take time catching their breaths. Their cheeks hurt from smiling too much, but neither minded. It was the happiest they’ve felt in weeks, Jongin may not think so, but Kyungsoo truly felt that way.

 

“You didn’t call me for almost a week. I thought you’ve replaced me with Sehun now,” Kyungsoo chuckles awkwardly after, and Jongin is taken aback at the statement.  
“Hyung,” Jongin calls the older, but Kyungsoo was turning away from him. With him lying on floor, and Jongin on top of him, the action didn’t help much. “I’d never replace you with anyone.”

When Kyungsoo doesn’t answer, Jongin moves to get off him and help him up. He pulls Kyungsoo to bed with him, and urges him to sit. “Is that what’s bugging you, hyung?” Jongin asks. He holds Kyungsoo’s hands with each of his and puts them on his lap, the way he does whenever he wants to talk the older out of something. 

Kyungsoo was still frowning when he answers, “We haven’t been meeting much because of that project I was working on,” Jongin stops himself from wincing, “And you not bothering to call me anymore may be because I always miss your calls, I understand.” 

Jongin continues to sit quietly, waiting for Kyungsoo to finish.  
“But that doesn’t mean I liked it. I’m sorry…”

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t voice it out, the exact thing he’s feeling. But Jongin looks at his slouched stature, hears the resignation in his tone, and realizes that Kyungsoo was longing for him as much as he did the older. It makes him smile.

He pulls Kyungsoo in for a hug. The elder stiffened in his hold the first few seconds, but then easily returns the gesture. Jongin grins when he feels the petite arms wrap around him too. They don’t hug each other often, but on the rare times they do, Jongin will never fail to notice how they fit each other perfectly. He hopes his hyung thinks so too.  
“I apologize as well. I didn’t really feel up to doing anything the past week. I didn’t think it’ll affect you too, I’m sorry”

Kyungsoo hums. “You can always tell me about your problems, Jongin.”

Jongin asks him how he knew he’s had any, and Kyungsoo sighs loudly by his ear before answering. “Sehun snaps short clips of you two hanging out, like that one time you ate tubs of ice cream. I thought I was the only one who figured you’d eat that even in the coldest weather when you want to be comforted.” Jongin loses the opportunity to tell him Sehun buying ice cream was just a coincidence when Kyungsoo pulls away from his hold, and looks him in the eyes. “But it makes me happy Sehun takes care of you too.”

They spend a good time doing just that, looking at each other. Had it been another person, they’d squirm uncomfortably. But it’s just the both of them, sitting still, looking at each other like there’s no tomorrow, and Jongin thinks he could do this for days. It’s easy to get lost in Kyungsoo’s beautiful eyes. “You still take care of me best,” Jongin voices.  
Kyungsoo has the biggest grin on his face when Jongin coaxes him into a hug again. It is something he’ll never get enough of.

“Let’s not do this anymore, okay? Ignoring each other. It’s no fun that way”

“You already have Chanyeol and Baekhyun, they are pretty fun people.”

“Hmmn… no. It’s different with you. It’s better with you.” It cheesy, but Jongin doesn’t call Kyungsoo out for it because he liked it. He could get used to cheesy, honest Kyungsoo. He’d get it any day.

 

“Boys”

They don’t get enough time to pull away from each when the door swings open and both their fathers are by the door. If they were surprised by witnessing their two sons hugging, they don’t let it show.

“Your father came to pick you up. Apparently you didn’t ask permission before leaving home”

Kyungsoo scratches the back of his neck his neck sheepishly, and the other 3 in the room laughs at the revelation.

“Are you two done? Your mother is worried sick, Kyungsoo”

“Yes. We were just- uhmm…”

“I’ll wait for you downstairs,”

They leave them alone once again. Jongin’s father warns him not to keep Kyungsoo for too long, before his door is shut. Kyungsoo fiddles his fingers, and Jongin takes them in his hands.

“Call me when you get home, okay?”

“Of course”

 

.

 

When classes return, it’s almost as if no conflict ever happened. Jongin’s heart still flutters when he sees his Kyungsoo bounding to him in the school gates, and Kyungsoo made sure to pamper him with cookies. To make up for last time, he said.

Kyungsoo’s birthday is coming up, and Jongin is both excited and worried.

With the fact that Kyungsoo was famous, Jongin couldn’t relax. Of the few months he’s studied here, he’s seen enough to conclude that for some reason, many if not most of the students here were big fans of grand romantic gestures. He is sure Kyungsoo wasn’t, because his hyung wasn’t a big fan of attention on him. But his possible suitors don’t know that, and Jongin is not sure how he’ll react when someone really prepares one for Kyungsoo. He wonders if he’ll have to confess quick, or make sure there’s isn’t a time of the day Kyungsoo’s alone as to ruin any opportunities of anyone about to confess. He opts for the later, Jongin didn’t prep himself for a rejection yet. 

Jongin gets Kyungsoo a new backpack as a gift because he once heard him groan over the edge of his books digging against his back. Jongin makes sure to pick one with good enough padding, and he hopes Kyungsoo will appreciate the practical gift. 

He hugs the wrapped gift to his chest as he walks towards Kyungsoo’s place. When he gets there, Kyungsoo was already standing by the gate waiting.

Jongin immediately greets him a happy birthday when he’s close enough. Without thinking things through he pulls Kyungsoo into a hug. He rarely gets opportunities like this, so he savors the moment. 

He presents Kyungsoo his gift, and Kyungsoo can’t stop thanking him, telling him it was so thoughtful of him, and Jongin can’t stop smiling. But his smile breaks into a laughter when Kyungsoo straight up transfers all his belongings into his new bag. “I’m going to show it off today! This is Baekhyun’s type, he’ll be jealous he doesn’t have a dongsaeng as thoughtful as you are!” 

Jongin’s never felt so proud of himself.

 

When they get too school, he makes sure to send Kyungsoo to his classroom. Chanyeol and Baekhyun offered they do it themselves, but Jongin can’t be careless. He’s been constantly biting his lip since this morning. Suitors could come anytime by surprise, and he’ll have to think quick. He has to be alert.  
He was on his way to his own class now when he hears a sudden commotion. Normally he’d shrug and not bother, but this isn’t just any other day, so he immediately rushes to see what it is in the school field everyone was trying to see.

 

His mood does a complete turn, and his heartbeat speeds up so abruptly he could hear the thumping in his ears.

 

In the middle of the field was Kyungsoo being the star of an ongoing grand gesture, an unromantic one. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were running around him, laughing as they continuously throw eggs to his soiled and dirty uniform. Baekhyun laughs even louder when Chanyeol brings out a bag of flour and sprinkles it over a Kyungsoo, who was covering his face. Jongin could only imagine how humiliated Kyungsoo was feeling. He carelessly shoves everyone blocking him, hissing a loud “Out of my way!” as he rushes towards where his hyung is.

 

“Stop!”

He growls at Baekhyun and Chanyeol when he gets close enough. He doesn’t hesitate removing his blazer to use it to wipe Kyungsoo clean. The poor thing was covered in lots of broken eggs along with their shells, and the flour got in his shirt too. He does his best not to manifest his anger onto his wiping, being as gentle as he can towards the older. His blazer gets too dirty in no time. Jongin ignores the gasps around him when he starts unbuttoning his white shirt too. 

“It’s fine, Jongin,” Jongin looks up to see Kyungsoo uncovering his face now. Some flour got on his lashes somehow and his hand itches to get them clean. Despite what Kyungsoo said, Jongin finishes removing his uniform and cleans them anyway. Nothing should mar Kyungsoo’s face like this, ever. When he finishes with Kyungsoo’s face, he moves away a little to see how much he managed to clean. He gets disappointed when he sees there is much he hasn’t.

“We brought some soap and shampoo” Chanyeol and Baekhyun visibly cowers at the glare Jongin was sending their way. Jongin grabs the packets harshly and gently pulls Kyungsoo to the nearest lavatory. 

Jongin diligently washes Kyungsoo’s hair for him, massaging the scalp, making sure there are no stray whites and egg shells left. Eggs leave a nasty stain and smell. When he finishes, he washes Kyungsoo’s face with the soap too. It was difficult, because he’s never washed someone else’s face before, but he perseveres, so now he is patting away the water with the clean part left in his uniform. Kyungsoo stays still. He probably didn’t want to aggravate Jongin any further.

He goes to his locker for a while to get some spare clothes, he always has them because of dance practice. When he returns, he passes them to Kyungsoo and tells him to change. Kyungsoo thanks him first before going into one of the restrooms so change.

He looks at the counter and sees it, the gift he got for Kyungsoo all soiled and stinky. He holds himself back from crying, because Kyungsoo probably wouldn’t want that on his birthday. What Jongin took hours to pick in the mall, Baekhyun and Chanyeol manages to ruin in 10 minutes.

 

“I threw eggs at Baekhyun on his birthday last year,” he hears Kyungsoo say from inside. “He asked for a cake, so I threw eggs and flour at him as a joke so he can be his own cake. I think that’s why they did it to me too.” Kyungsoo finishes saying just as he leaves the cubicle. Jongin sees him try to hide a smile. His tone almost sounded happy, like he was recalling a fun memory. It’s as if Jongin pulling him out of the commotion ruined the fun.

 

Later that night, as Jongin lays down on his bed, he realizes there are things about Kyungsoo and his life he doesn’t know much about. And the thinks maybe they are things he isn’t meant to know, simply because they are none of his business. He remembers all the times he’s managed to butt in Kyungsoo’s plans without his consent. He’s been intruding on Kyungsoo’s personal relationships. Relationships he wasn’t part of, and he feels terrible about himself as much as he feels insecure.

Sehun was right all along. Friends keep things from each other. Albeit unintentional, you can never know more about them more than they allow you. It Jongin’s fault for assuming he was more to Kyungsoo than he thought he was. They’re just friends, and it stays at that. It was immature of him to thin otherwise.

If the last time wasn’t on purpose, this time, he intentionally stops calling Kyungsoo at night, or replying to his messages. He goes to and from school alone the next day, and the following days after. He needs some space. He isn’t sure how long he was going to last without the older’s attention, but he figures he will need it. He’ll need to adjust.

 

Jongin ignores the knocks on his door the night of his birthday. He skipped school that day as well, because he hasn’t gained enough courage to face the older yet. He wasn’t ready. He’s sure it is Kyungsoo he hears sighing at the other side of the door when the rapping stops. The next morning, he is served cake along with his breakfast.

“Kyungsoo made that himself,” his mother tells him as he stares at the wonderfully made even layers. “There is more in the fridge. He also asked me to tell you he wants to talk.”

Jongin merely nods, and the reaction makes his parents worry.

“Are you two alright?” his father asks, already down to half his slice.

“Yes, we’re fine”

Anyone even not his parents could see through the lie.

 

.

 

It is Sehun’s voice in the line. His seatmate has been bothering him to no end. Until now, Jongin couldn’t distinguish if his seat mate was simply disturbing him, or was masking comfort with annoying phone calls. _“Will you stop groaning? I’m about to have a video call with my boyfriend”_

Jongin sits up abruptly at hearing the message. “You’re gay?!”

 _“You love Kyungsoo? What a surprise!” Jongin could practically hear Sehun roll his eyes. He could hear it in his voice._

“What- How does- Why--”

 _“Me being gay is obvious as you still scavenging on the scraps of what’s left of you and Kyungsoo’s friendship”_

“Why am I even friends with you”

 

.

It’s Valentine’s day, and Jongin wants to cry. He never stopped being stubborn and continued to ignore the older, but 2 hours into the day and he immediately regret it. The red garlands and giant heart decorations mock him as he goes through the entrance of their school. Sehun boasts the personalized chocolate he got from his boyfriend and it ruins Jongin’s mood even further. The day is only half over, and he’s spent every second of it wishing nobody talks to Kyungsoo. Which, truthfully, was very impossible.

He decides to skip lunch today and slumps on his desk, hiding his face in his arms. Sehun leaves him to eat with his boyfriend at another school, and honestly, Jongin couldn’t care any less. It just makes him feel even more bitter for his lack of love life. In the middle of the period, someone entering the room causes a little commotion, and he ignores it.

 

“Jongin…”

He freezes in his spot when he hears the voice. That voice. He hasn’t heard it in over a month, but it’s just as familiar as he remembers. He hesitates getting up because the room has oddly become so silent, which means everyone’s attention was on them. Jongin internally hits himself because he remembers Kyungsoo doesn’t like attention. He shouldn’t be thinking things like those on reflex anymore. He should get over him. 

When he finally does look up, he feels his world shatter. Kyungsoo was holding a bouquet of roses and wearing a headband with floating hearts. He also has kissy stickers all over his uniform, Jongin assumes they were stuck there by some of his fangirls. Jongin from a month ago would’ve cooed at the sight, but is Valentine’s day, and when you receive roses it only means one thing.

This is it. Kyungsoo probably got tired of him avoiding, and has now found a suitable boyfriend. One that gave him these well-arranged flowers. 

He feels conflicted, happy that Kyungsoo’s found someone that completes him, and sad because it wasn’t him. 

He maintains a stoic look on his face, careful to tuck his grief away.

 

It is probably Hyunsik because he’s noticed him following Kyungsoo around more often lately. He knew he should’ve started working out and buying those ugly hats.

 

Out of the blue, Kyungsoo thrusts the flowers to his face.

“I really like you! Please accept my flowers.”

And Jongin is beyond stumped, that he only sits there and stares back and forth from bright red petals, and to Kyungsoo who was pursing his lips and shutting his eyes. He didn’t know how to react. Especially now that tears started running down Kyungsoo’s face.

He feels his heart clench. It pains him to see his crush of six years crying over someone as horrible as him. He’s never made Kyungsoo cry before, he was always the more emotionally stable. And now he just did. Add to that the fact he just got confessed to. He’s too broken for someone as perfect as Kyungsoo.

 

“I really miss you.” Kyungsoo’s voice cracks halfway, but it doesn’t stop him from continuing “Please say something.” He was begging.

Jongin’s façade and composure breaks. He doesn’t hold back this time. He puts the flowers aside and goes around the table to gently pull Kyungsoo to himself. Jongin never fails to appreciate how perfect Kyungsoo fits against him.

“I’ve missed you more, and I’m sure I’ve liked you longer too.” 

 

Kyungsoo’s sobbing eventually calms, and Jongin kisses his head in comfort. Of all things he expected for Valentine’s day, this was not in the list at all. He tries hard to be stronger for Kyungsoo and holds in his tears. He’s wished for something like this for a long, long time.

 

“FINALLY,” Sehun shouts the moment he enters the door and sees the duo hugging. For the first time ever, Jongin hates his timing. “I was so close to blocking his phone number. He whined about you every night, it was annoying!”

 

Epilogue:

One particularly cold day, Jongin brings Kyungsoo to a café he frequented. It’s almost as if all worries he had with with his studies disappeared completely when he sees him bundled up in the brown padded sweater he got him. A little smile and Jongin’s reduced to a puppy begging his owner for attention.

When Kyungsoo asks why they were heading to that café in particular, Jongin answers a very enthusiastic “They put soy whip in their hot coco, and it’s really good!. Oh, they also have good bubble tea.”

Jongin opens the door for him and leads Kyungsoo to a spot he remembers being warm enough. Kyungsoo feels cold easily, Jongin recites to himself. Despite the available heater, he still takes off his beanie to stack it on the one already on Kyungsoo’s head. His ears need extra loving.

He goes to the counter to order quickly, because if he doesn’t he knows Kyungsoo will offer to pay. Jongin wasn’t too tight on budget today, so on their way he decides he’s treating Kyungsoo that must die hot coco plus those teal macarons. 

 

“How did you find this place?” Kyungsoo asks before biting onto the macaron with a crunch. If it wasn’t for the question, Jongin would’ve already been lost to the sight the pastel pastry pushing against his lips.

Catching himself being borderline creepy again, Jongin clears his throat before answering- “This is Sehun’s favorite café because he says they make ‘heavenly’ bubble tea, and Sehun’s bubble tea-blooded.” He sips his drink a little, the warmth travels down inside his chest completely before he continues. “He brought me here a couple of times to hang out.”

“Well... maybe I should just leave,” Kyungsoo picks a macaron, starts standing up, and Jongin panics a little, “I feel like Sehun will feel bad that you brought me to a place only you two hang out in.”

It takes a moment for Jongin to realize Kyungsoo was teasing. He laughs a little before pushing Kyungsoo down his seat. “What are you insinuating, huh? Sehun’s an idiot, seriously, I’d never even think about dating him”

They get interrupted when a young man in uniform-that Jongin recognizes to be the barista- comes up their table to give Kyungsoo a slice of cake. Jongin is fuming. Along with the generous slice is a folded sheet of paper Jongin is sure containing the baristas digits. The nerve.

The barista winks, then slurrs “On the house,” before returning to his station. Jongin makes sure to glare at his back as he makes his way. Why did Kyungsoo have to be so beautiful, he inwardly wails.

To make it worse, when he faces Kyungsoo once again, he was blushing down to his neck. Jongin decides he is never returning to that café again. Screw their soy whip. 

 

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo calls out to him when they’re a few ways away from the café already. 

“Yes, hyung?” Jongin makes an effort to sound normal. The earlier event really put him in a sour mood. Even the silence between him and Kyungsoo doesn’t bother him, when earlier, on their way, they couldn’t stop talking.

He flinches a little when a cold hand suddenly intertwines with his, the other’s fingers filling the gaps between his. He stops walking in surprise, and when he looks down, he sees Kyungsoo shyly smiling up at him.

“You know there’s nothing to be jealous about, right?” Kyungsoo asks, and starts feeling bad at not making an effort of starting a conversation.

“Y-yes…” He hates how he sounded weak.

“Hey,” 

With the tone of Kyungsoo’s voice, he thought he’ll be reprimanded again, but then he sees the smile on his face. His Kyungsoo-hyung is so perfect. 

“I love you, Jongin. I mean it”

Kyungsoo tiptoes to leave a kiss on Jongin’s cheek, their hands still intertwined, and Jongin thinks there’s nothing to be unsure about anymore.


End file.
